To My Children and Grandchildren

Many months ago I read Randy Pausch’s The Last Lecture. While I do not have a terminal illness as he did, I like the idea of leaving some thoughts, a “legacy” so to speak, before I depart this life, hopefully years from now. While I can wish you good health, wealth, and wisdom, I cannot leave you health or wealth, only some thoughts.

Wisdom comes from a relationship with God and from growing older, but whether there is any truth to the “growing older” part I am not sure. Hopefully, I gained a bit of wisdom just having been here for so long. That old saying, “Youth is wasted on the young,’ has meaning. Had I known all I know now as a youth, maybe my life would have been lived differently and perhaps better. Those little “bits of wisdom” I picked up on the bumpy journey to my old age I now share with all of you. Even though they are numbered, they are in no special order, except for #1, the most important.

#16. Be yourself; don't let others influence you to become someone you are not. #15. Accept the hand of cards you are dealt, and play them to the best of your ability as your life unfolds. Life isn’t fair, so dwelling on fairness is wasteful; just move on. #14. Respect your parents; they are not stupid, boring, or incompetent. Respecting your parents is an example for your children. After all, your kids may have to care for you in your old age. #13. Some of you attended “modern” schools where everyone wins, there is little discipline, there are no failing grades, there are no wrong answers, and you can take tests over until you pass. Unfortunately, this nonsense has no resemblance to the real world. Everyone does not win, there must be discipline and self-discipline, we all fail at something, there are wrong answers, and we aren’t allowed to keep “repeating.” #12. In the real world, you are not paid to get it together and you most certainly should not “bite the hand that feeds you.” Get your own act together, and ask those “stupid” parents to explain that last item should you not understand it. #11. Protect the environment, yet remember people live here. Creating economic havoc or hardships for people in some idealist (or wacko) attempt to save trees, the spotted owl, some crawling creature, or anything else is wrong. Where would we be today if we had saved the horse and buggy in some wild-eyed scheme to prevent damage from autos? Probably listening to lines such as, “The droppings of those animals pulling the wagons are going to kill us” We landed on the moon; surely we have the scientific knowledge to create a safe environment and still enjoy business and economic growth and advancements. #10. Life is from God, thus it has value. “The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away; blessed be the name of the Lord.” When we do not value and protect the lives of a fetus or baby, the most innocent among us, we devalue the lives of all. Our society is dangerously perverted when the lives of animals and plants have more worth than the lives of our most innocent citizens. America’s “Holocaust” is the 48 million babies killed since the Roe vs. Wade decision in 1973. God will surely, at some point, deal harshly with a society that permitted such an atrocity. There are many options available other than abortion; support them. #9. Treat people with respect. God created us all equal. #8. Power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely, so never trust in or depend on any government. The major lesson we should have learned from fascism, Nazism, socialism, communism, and our own federal government’s behavior in the last seventy years or so is that “any government powerful enough to give you everything you want is also powerful enough to take away everything you have.” Government can give us nothing unless it has first taken it away from someone else through taxation. That is as onerous and immoral as personal stealing! Government does not create wealth, it spends, or more accurately wastes, that which is the hard-earned wealth of its citizens. #7. Terrorism will be an American fact of life for years. This evil, as with all evil, must be opposed. One does not compromise with evil; one defeats it! If not, it will consume, overwhelm, and defeat you. #6. Be responsible for your own actions; actions have consequences. Think of the consequences before acting. Do not blame others for your actions. Be one of those who accepts personal responsibility. #5. Become an active citizen--take an interest in your country, in politics, in voting, and in government at all levels. Your life and that of your family are directly related to the well being of your nation. America, as imperfect as we may be, is still “man’s last and best hope.” When asked in the late 1780s by a woman passing him on the streets of Philadelphia after the Constitutional Convention, “What have we, a monarchy or a republic?” Ben Franklin replied, “A Republic Madam, if we can keep it.” And over 200 years later, the question still is, “Can we keep it?” Our founding documents, the Declaration of Independence and Constitution, are man’s best attempt at freedom. Both are based on Judeo-Christian principles, and our laws reflect those principles. Individuals who tell you our nation has no religious foundation are dead wrong; either they have not read our founding history or intend to deceive. #4. There is a right and a wrong, so do what is right! Doing what is right is not always popular, and doing what is popular is not always right. General Sam Damon, the main character in the novel, Once an Eagle, has a great piece of advice, “You can’t help what you were born, and you may not have much to say about where you die, but you can and should try to pass the days in between as a good man.” To paraphrase my brother-in-law James’ great advice, “When you were born, your name came to you unblemished. It is yours for as long as you may live. Guard it wisely, and you will be glad the name is still spotless when you pass it along to your own children.” #3. Have firm moral beliefs. Nothing was sadder for me during my lengthy teaching career on the high school and college levels than to have students with no strong moral system, no firm belief in what is right or what is wrong. Society is in serious trouble when the line between right and wrong blurs, our country’s situation now. It is no longer politically correct to be judgmental; almost everything has become acceptable. Everything is not acceptable! Accepting everything cannot continue or our society, as we know it, will collapse. Be judgmental, be politically incorrect, and stand up for principles and for what is moral and right, regardless of what the world hurls your way! The sinful, secular world will definitely oppose you though! #2. Have dreams and purpose and strive to attain them. The great American, Black poet, Langston Hughes said, Hold onto your dreams, for if your dreams die, your life is a broken-winged bird that cannot fly.” #1. There is a God; honor Him! God promises to be with us as we journey life’s road, but He does not promise there will be no bumps along the way. Early in our country’s history, William Penn said, “If men are not governed by God, they shall be ruled by tyrants.” And tyrants do not have to be government rulers; they can be habits, money, evil, or something else “ruling” your life.

I do not think my own death, whenever it may come, is the worst thing that can happen to me; I think the loss of a child or grandchild would be far worse. So, Rod and Dina, Randy and Cindy, Derek, Logan, Ellie, Jack, Evelyn, Jamie, and Michael, may you have long lives and enjoy your “bumpy road” to old age. Love God, love life, love family and others, and pass wisdom on to your own children and grandchildren.

Although I wonder if Nelson DeMille intended it in any religious sense, he closes his novel The Gate House, with a line that has personal meaning for me as a Christian, “Every journey has to end, and the end of the journey is always called Home.” For me, that “Home” is Heaven and an eternity with God and Jesus. May it also be yours!

Love, Dad and Granddad

Copyright 2008 by Don Emerson. All rights reserved.